- He brings you his last Skittle. Not just any Skittle – the one he dug out of the couch which has to be six months old and is covered in lint, hair and sweat from his chubby little hand.
- He points to every picture of beautiful women in magazines and says “Mama”.
- He attempts to brush your curly-ass hair… with a round brush.
- He kisses your boo-boo’s.
- He yells at the dog when she gets in your face.
- He brings you a small wooden treasure chest… full of soggy cereal because you said you were starving.